A year on (almost)

A depressed gamer – one year on (almost)

So I started this blog almost a year ago now, and although I stopped writing, it has always been something I’ve been meaning to return to.

Why did I stop – I’m not altogether sure. Partially because I was struggling to actually write anything, partially because life got so full and busy, finding time to write anything was tough. I will say though it wasn’t because my depression got worse, if anything it was getting better – as mentioned before I find it harder to be creative when I’m in a good place.

So, why start the blog again now? Primarily because it feels right, as I said I’ve always meant to come back to it, and now I have. Also we’ve just come back from this year’s Contingency, the Con that started it all last year, so it seemed apt to start again now.

Also I’ve been feeling more down since late-November/Early-December. There’s a definite seasonal element to my Depression, also we had two amazing weekends in a row – a Jane Austen read-through, followed by Consequences – a free-form LARP con. So I had double event crash, and haven’t really fully recovered since. Not that I’ve been non-functioning, but I have been struggling at times. Last time I was writing this blog I found it really helpful, I’m hoping the same is true this time.

What have I been doing since the last blog?

Lots, let’s have a look.

There was a weekend in March that never made it into the blog, where we had friends over for gaming.

A fair few evenings of board games with a different friend, although these dropped off later in the year (as I’m crap at arranging to keep these things going), we’re looking to get started again.

I played a load of X-Com 2 and started streaming it on Twitch as I played – a few friends watched, I think I’m going to start this again too. I love the game anyway, and it doesn’t cost me anything to stream it, and the option is there if people do want to watch it.

ConDamned – we went on our annual visit to Amsterdam for a gaming con. We had a great time, although it was a little light on my favoured type of game this time round – we’ll still be going back this year.

Various other bits through the summer – including magical weekends in the Gower, and introducing friends to Witch: The Road to Lindisfarne (a freeform RPG), which went very well.

I paid a visit to Coffee and Dice – our friends’ Board gaming Café in Bournemouth (http://www.coffeeanddice.com/), which was a lovely weekend, although H couldn’t make it due to Kitten, and I missed them lots.

And we got the aforementioned cat.

November saw the read-through and Freeform LARP con – both of which were awesome, but took a lot out of me.

Then in December we attended OBOD Winter Gathering and performed at the Eisteddfod. Despite amateur dramatics and performing in front of friends this was a big deal for me. Being in front of a hall of people, as myself, singing is a totally new experience for me – one I enjoyed now it’s over, but was very nervous at the time. There’s a video of the performance on our HelBen Music page on Facebook. (Search @HelBenMusic on Facebook)

We saw family around Christmas, but had Christmas itself just the two of us (plus cat), which was lovely, just what we needed I think.

Finally in the New Year we had Contingency – the con that started all of this. I’m not going to say too much about it this time – that’ll come up next week. But I had a good time and it was lovely to catch up with friends I’ve not seen in a while again.

So I’ve been doing ok on the whole. I’ve struggled a bit at times, but have generally spent the last 9 months in a better place, at least most of it. I’m struggling a bit more at the moment, but nowhere near the levels I was at this time last year. I feel I have a better grip on things and can keep myself at a better level this time round – at least I hope so.

That’s it for this week – just a quick update of what’s been going on  – next week we’ll hit gaming again, as I talk about Contingency and the games I played.

Stay safe all.



Author: wraithben

I'm Ben, early 40's and work as a Real Time Analyst in a call centre in the South West of England. In my spare time amongst other things I like to game - computer games, board games and most of all RPG's and Theatre Style LARPS. I also suffer from Chronic Depression.

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